Monday, August 25, 2008

Guess what happens when you get a new kidney...


YOU HAVE TO PEE!!

No, seriously. I have plenty of folks complaining about how often they have to go to the bathroom, now what with the new kidney and all. One guy is downright annoying about. I feel like telling him, "Good thing you didn't get a lung transplant, or else you'd be complaining about having to breathe."

In other news, my partner and I have a good system going. He talks to all the difficult patients and I talk to the crazy ones. (In all fairness, I should stress that 90% of our patients fall into neither category). But, also, crazy does love me. I really do seem to have a way with anyone mentally ill, drunk or anyone with more issues than the National Geographic. I could've been a social worker, but I'm not dysfunctional enough. Ba dum bump. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Eat the chicken.

Just so you don't think I'm completely snarky, a patient today told me that I have "sha-fi". Don't ask me how to spell it. Or even if I'm pronouncing it correctly. In his religion, it means I'm a healer. He told me he was blessed to have such people take care of him. The truth is, I'm blessed to do what I do.

6 comments:

BreathinSteven said...

Listen - seriously - I can tell you from experience that whole breathing thing with new lungs can be a real bear... The first time I had a good sneeze with my new blowers I thought I was going to blow my nose off - the rest of me was used to a sneeze propelled by 10% lung capacity. Suddenly, 50-60% coming through the same pipes can be surprising. Particularly if you have a mask on.

And you know - the first stuff you cough up ain't your own... But that's a whole other topic...

AND, I think I'm getting a grasp on why we get along so well!!! (and I've never really been regarded as difficult if you need a clue...)

I'm with that other patient - I think we're blessed too...

Love,

Steve

TC said...

I never considered the sneezing. I know a lot of people are afraid to strain anything after surgery, but SNEEZING with new lungs!? I'd really be afraid of blowing a gasket.

Hopefully, I won't ever have major surgery, because I will be the biggest baby/hypochondriac ever. I'd be the person on the phone with the doctor every 5 minutes-"eek, I gotta pain!" "Help, I made a noise!"

And thank you for keeping the phlegm comments to a minimum, it's still my least favorite body fluid.

rlbates said...

Interesting -- both the post and Steve's comments. What a nice problem (need to pee) to have!

kshimster said...

wow that phlegm thing is really a cool concept -- sorry my days as an adult micu nurse are showing lololol. Better to liken it to a sort of abusrd legacy...

lysurgis23 said...

Thanks for writing on this - very amusing!

On the phlegm question, have a confession that I haven't even told my wife. For about 3 days after my kidney transplant, I would stare at the bottle receiving the product of my new kidney and wonder if this was actually coming from me or not. Now there's a philosophical conundrum!

This sounds irrational, I know, but rationality was not my string suit in the days immediately after my transplant.

Cheers!

chronicpositivity.com said...

Yep; peeing and drinking more fluids take some getting used to. I went from peeing once a day while on dialysis to getting up 3 times during the night to empty out some of the 25 lbs of fluid I had on board after my surgery. But I'll take spending a total of about 10 minutes a day to pee (including walking time to the bathroom) and drinking 2-3 liters a day to the horrendous cramps I got during dialysis when I gained almost 6 kilos (that happened only once) as well as the 15 hours per week I spent in the dialysis unit.