Thursday, March 27, 2008

There are no coincidences. Today I had a busy day at work. One little guy was very emotionally needy and the other little guy was very physically needy. I called my husband at 6pm and said, don't bother picking me up at 7:30, I'll call you when I'm done.

I finally finished charting around 8p, called him to pick me up and went down to the lobby to wait. I started reading a paper that someone had left. Halfway through, I got up and went to wait outside. He called back and said he was just leaving the house. I sighed and went back inside and picked up another section of the paper. I read the comics, my horoscope("stay in bed today") and a couple other things before I got to the obituaries. I always read the obituaries, because, well, you never know. And I saw that a little precious baby I had taken care of a few times had died yesterday.

I knew from the first time I took care of her that she was going to die. At six months old, she was diagnosed with a disease that would rapidly waste away her muscles until eventually she would stop breathing. I think it was on that admission that her parents decided that when the time came, they wouldn't intubate her but would just put her on comfort care and let her go.

Now, I would think of her time and again, knowing that eventually by the end of her first year on earth she'd be gone. But I like read the newspaper, I don't know, maybe once a month. Today I just happened to be late, then my husband happened to be later and somebody happened to leave a paper lying around for me to pick up. I'm sure I would have heard the news eventually, but I'm glad that I got to read about it right away and while I'm sad for her and her parents, I'm glad that her suffering is over. No more chest PT, little girl, no more coughalator.

What a baby, she was, too. A tiny little thing with a smile that could light up the room. I don't know why children are born into this world just to die, but it's a blessing to take care of them, every one.


BreathinSteven said...

You are a beautiful person, TC...



Ali said...

I loved this post. I'm so glad you cared for her and loved her. And I can't agree more- there are no coincidences. I see that more and more each day that I'm here.

I miss you guys and my fat-cheeked love. Send me photos whenever you can smuggle them. =)